Today is yet another milestone in our adoption story. As of today Alivia has been with me one day longer than she has been without me. I don't know if there's an official name for it, but I call it Bonding Day. Of course, there is no doubt that Alivia and I have bonded and bonded well. She's mama's little girl in every way!

This past weekend we celebrated her birthday with a big party. She had an absolute blast! She also received tons of gifts! The funniest moment, though, was when she went to "open" a present that was in a gift bag. First thing she did was pull out the tissue paper and try to blow her nose with it. Such a cutie! These are a couple pics from the big bash along with one more of the professional ones we had done last week.

Thursday we fly to St. Louis for the CHI picnic. It's going to be a fun weekend complete with a dress up tea party and lots of swimming pool time! Livi's going to love it!

~ Jeana

Happy Independence Day!

Wow! It's hard to believe that exactly one year ago my mother and I were in Tver and my mom hadn't yet met Alivia. She would meet her on her birthday--which is tomorrow! Alivia is turning 2! Hurray! In honor of her second birthday I took Alivia to get some more photos made--and we finally did a family portrait, too!

Livi will be getting lots of presents, but the most special one, in my mind, is her brand new big-girl bed! No photos yet, but she loves it. The first night she just went right to sleep with no fuss and when she woke up she just played quietly in her bed until I came to get her. Last night she again went to bed with no fuss, but when she awoke this morning she realized she could get out of bed by herself and play. She played quietly in her room for an hour or so while I dozed a little longer. Happy day!

This afternoon was her first time to nap in her new bed and it was a bit of a challenge. She kept wanting to get out of bed and play instead of nap. I finally had to sit there with her and rub her back for about 10 minutes until she fell asleep. Same thing this evening at bedtime. I had to put her back in her bed several times and the last time was preceeded with a light smack on the bum. She did stay in bed that time, though, and was asleep in just a few minutes.

Tomorrow for her birthday we are going to play at home in the morning and then go to Gran's house in the afternoon. We're going to have an ice cream cake and a special dinner and then open a few presents. We're going to be holding a birthday party for her on Saturday (which also happens to be our court date anniversary and Gotcha Day) with a few friends and their kids. I probably went overboard with the party plans (Little Mermaid everything...) but it's my first time, so everyone will just have to forgive me. Yes, my Little Bit is probably becoming a tad bit spoiled, but I think she deserves all the spoiling she can get.

This last photo is from our trip to Toronto in early June. Our whole group got together for a photo in front of The Old Mill during our furst day of locations touring. It's a beautiful inn and restaurant in Toronto that has been used in many films and television shows, including La Femme Nikita, the show we were all fans of. They do a fabulous lunch buffet if you are ever in Toronto.

~ Jeana

Two Surgeries!

Well, we got the bad news today at the doctor's office. Alivia has to have two surgeries over the next few months. The first, to remover her tonsils and adenoids, will be done in August. The second, the elongate her jaw, will be done in early October. Hopefully everything will heal quickly and they'll be able to remove the jaw device by Christmas.

I'm dreading both procedures. The first will be hard just seeing her dwarfed by all the medical gadgets and such, and I know she'll be in pain. The second will be even worse and then I get to add to it with the daily screw turnings for a couple weeks. Thank God we only have to move her jaw about 12-15 mm and it will only require about two weeks of adjustments.

I have some photos to post, but I'm going to hold off on them until later this weekend. Gotta get my mind in a happier place. Anyway, just wanted to post the update since I know a lot of folks have been wondering.

~ Jeana

The Day After

Man, was yesterday stressful! Alivia, Gran and I arrived at Nemours Children's Hospital for her CT scan only to be informed that we needed to go to Wolfson's Children's Hospital instead. Fortunately the two are only a couple blocks apart and are connected by a cross-interstate elevated walkway. It was much quicker to walk there than to try to move the car. We arrived pretty much on time and sat down to await our 10 a.m. appointment. At 10 they took us all back to start prepping Alivia and we hit another speed bump. The CT scan was ordered because of Alivia's small throat and jaw which meant she was high risk for airway issues which also meant they couldn't do the mild sedation they had intended and would need to do full anesthesia on her. Of course that meant they needed to find an anesthesiologist and none were available until possibly in the afternoon. So...

We left the hospital at 10:30 with orders to return at noon for a *possible* 1 p.m. procedure time. Livi, of course, still had to be kept NPO (no food or drink), poor thing, but handled it like a trooper. At 11:30 the hospital called us and told us that the earliest they could do the procedure would be 2:30 and that we needed to be back by 1:30. Gran and I decided to take Alivia home (we had gone to Toys R Us to pass the time) and let her get a short nap.

When we arrived back at the hospital we had to wait an hour before they were ready for Alivia, but, thankfully, they were able to find an anesthesiologist. She decided to try to do the procedure without putting her under, but Livi had had enough of cooperating and decided to get fussy, so they ended up knocking her out for the 5 minute procedure. Then, when Livi woke up, she REALLY decided she'd had enough and became rather intractable. By this time it was 4 in the afternoon and she was absolutely starving. My usually very quiet and sweet natured child threw a tantrum of major proportions to get some food and devoured a whole banana, a popsicle, a carton of milk, some apple juice and a handful of cheerios. The nurses were in a dither predicting that she would get sick, but she proved them all wrong.

The rest of the evening Livi remained very demanding and clingy, but this morning she was back to her normal self. Unfortunately we were not able to see the doctor yeterday so now we have to wait for an appointment to get the results and find out whether we will need to do the surgery. We have a tentative appointment for next Friday, but I'm hoping his assistant can squeeze us in sooner.

~ Jeana

Summertime Fun

So far, medical issues not withstanding, Livi and I are having a terrific summer. We spent a lovely 5 days in Toronto, Ontario, Canada earlier this month. I'll try to post some pictures later. Next month we head to St. Louis for the Children's Hope International Family Picnic and then we'll end the summer with a cruise to the Bahamas. We've also been exploring the zoo and several of the many parks in our city. Livi loves swings and slides, so I'm always on the lookout for new places for us to play. Fun! Fun! Fun!

The trip to Toronto gave me my first taste of traveling as a single parent. Livi was an absolute delight! She was incredibly well-behaved and traveled like a pro! The only hassle we had was at the US-Canada border. I was asked to provide a letter from her father saying that I had permission to take her across the border. This happened in BOTH directions! Of course, there is no such letter because there is no father. And, of course, I also didn't have copies of the adoption papers or her birth certificate with me. I had her passport and didn't think I'd need those other documents. Fortunately I was able to argue our way past the passport agents and we were able to go on our merry way. It was a bit touchy, though, and I'll be sure to carry copies of those docs on our future trips.

Wednesday is Livi's CT scan appointment and we should be able to find out that same day if we will have to do the surgery or not. We're also now working on trying to get a diagnosis of "sensory integration disorder." Livi has no pain response to most things and exhibits all the other classic symptoms of hyposensitivity in most areas. It's another of those "no cure" situations, but there are treatments that can allow her to overcome the problems. Getting the diagnosis will be our first step to getting her the treatments she needs.

Livi is also back with my mom now for daycare. She did really well at the professional day care, but with all her medical and developmental issues she really needs the one on one care she can get from my mom. It means a lot more driving for me and a lot less sleep, but it's worth it to make sure she is in the best situation for her needs. I think it also is good for my mother--she missed seeing Livi every day these last two months.

I'll update again with photos as soon as I can--and with the results of our doctor appointments on Wednesday.

Cheers!

~Jeana

Medical Updates

Well, things have suddenly gotten a litte stressful on the health front. We have been waiting for some time for the consultation with the ENT specialist about Alivia's small jaw size and eating issues. We finally got to see him this week. At first he was leaning away from any kind of surgical intervention. Alivia's jaw is small, but doesn't seem to be too much of an issue as she is finally eating solid foods and seems to be getting the nutrition she needs. He ran a scope through her nose and into her throat and saw how tight the opening is from her mouth to her throat and suggested that we might be looking at a simple tonsilectomy to relieve some of the space issues. Next, examined the back of her mouth and made a startling discovery. Alivia actually has the mildest form of cleft palette--the back of her mouth never fused and she has a split uvulla (sp). Now he is leaning more towards doing a jaw extension procedure that requires fracturing her jaw on both sides and then inserting a device for two months that has to be adjusted daily to extend her jaw. It's a very painful procedure, but is generally very successful. This doctor happens to be one of the top surgeons in the field and the fact that he didn't immediately jump on doing the surgery makes me feel a little better about it. I know that he isn't just trying to add another case to his resume. Anyway, we have to go back in a few weeks for a head CT so that he can get a more definitive picture of her situation and then we'll make the final decision. I'm hoping that a tonsilectomy will be all that is needed at this time, but it is more than likely inevitable that we'll have to do something about her jaw at some point. I'm worried that the situation right now actually poses a choking hazard for her.

We also did a hearing test on Alivia and had less than definitive results there. That's not unusual in a child of her age, but with the FAS situation we are concerned that she may have some hearing issues. We are scheduled to go back for another test in a few weeks that will involve sedating her and attaching electrodes to her head to measure her brain stem response to sounds.

Alivia is such a delightful child and so patient with the doctors and nurses who are seeing her. It's just amazing to watch--even they are surprised at how cheerful she is and how she doesn't cry or fuss while they poke and prod her. It just makes me so angry that she has to be put through all this all because her birth mother was stupid and drank during the pregnancy. Yes--even the cleft palette issue is one that is rooted in her mother's drinking! While I am ever thankful to her mother for giving her up so that I could adopt her, I hate her for what she did to her by drinking. All of Alivia's medical issues were so easily preventable!

Allright... I've had my rant for the day. At the moment I'm researching the procedures that the doctor is considering and just waiting to find out what the CT scan and hearing test show. On the positive side of things, Alivia is taking more and more steps independently and is picking up new things every day. She's such a happy and charming little thing. It really is hard to be anything but happy around her. I hope as the years pass that I can always say that!

~ Jeana

One Year Ago

One year ago today I was sitting in my office just like today with no idea that in just a few short hours my whole life would change. It was the Thursday before Mother's Day and in between work tasks I spent a lot of the morning day dreaming about the baby girl I was waiting for. That afternoon I made the rounds of my co-workers' offices and fielded the inevitable "when will you hear something" questions. I remember smiling optimistically as I answered "could be any day now... but I won't hear anything today. It's too late in the day. They always call in the morning."

I was on my way downstairs back to my office when my cell phone rang. I remember looking at the phone number in disbelief--knowing, even before I answered it, who it was and what it was about. Time slipped into slow motion and the next few minutes seemed like an hour as I impatiently watched the photo of my new daughter-to-be download onto my computer screen. The next two months would be a whirlwind of activity punctured by long moments of suspended time as I completed last minute preparations and traveled to Russia twice to complete the adoption of my daughter.

My life has changed in immeasurable and wonderful ways since that day one year ago. Today, as I look forward to my first true Mother's Day, I do find myself daydreaming about the end of this year when I plan to start the process of adopting another little girl, but I also find myself determined to enjoy every minute of this very special time when it's just the two of us. Just me and Alivia. One year ago this moment she was still just a dream. Today she's all mine and the most precious gift this mother can ever imagine receiving.

~ Jeana