The IA Doctor

One of the hardest things for most families adopting a child internationally is trying to determine the medical status of their prospective child. In Russia we have particularly significant problems to face with high incidences of fetal alcohol syndrome, attachment disorder and related issues. Like most adoptive parents I did a ton of research beforehand to familiarize myself with the symptoms and problems associated with these common problems. Some of it can be quite scary and some is totally unpredictable in a child as young as my daughter-to-be. There is a lot that can be gleaned from photos and video, but there is also a lot that might not reveal itself until much later. How do you decide whether or not the risk is acceptable to your family?

One of the ways is through the use of an international adoption doctor--a specialist who knows what to look for and how to interpret it. I'm fortunate to have a doctor in my area who treats many other adopted children and who, having adopted from eastern europe himself, knows the ins and outs of the system and the conditions that the children live in before being adopted. He listened to all my concerns, reviewed the medical information provided by the Russian doctors, studied the photos of Alivia and watched the video. Then we talked. While he did stress that there's always the risk of problems showing up later that we don't have any indication of now, he was able to reassure me that the behaviors and developmental delays exhibited in the video are consistent with those of an otherwise healthy instutionalized child. He also said that he saw nothing to indicate any untreatable problems.

A friend of mine is so worried that I might be biting off more than I can chew with this adoption and I admit that I allowed her worries to upset me. After speaking with the doctor, though, I am much more at ease about the situation and even more certain that I'm making the right decision. Yes, there is the possibility that Alivia will have some tough problems for us to deal with, but that possibility exists with every child--adopted or bio. You never know what God is going to give you until it happens. What I do know is that God has brought me and this child together for a reason. We each have something that the other needs. I know this with every fiber of my being.

I strongly believe that it's in every family's best interest to consult with an IA doctor and to do the research and educate themselves about the risks involved in international adoption. Ultimately, though, the decision to adopt belongs to the family and has to be a matter of faith. Either it feels right or it doesn't and either you're ready to take the risk or you aren't. Alivia and I feel right and I'm ready to take the risk. And court is just 16 days and counting...

~ Jeana